25 Rules of Engagement

“The 25 Rules of Engagement for Couples Creating Strong & Successful Relationships”(What I learned after my divorce)

Book Description:

In this book Dr. Solomon Uwadiale shares a compelling personal experience of his past relationship with his ex-wife with whom he was married to for almost 20 years before their divorce. Although the relationship ended in a painful and devastating divorce, today he is a better and transformed husband to his current lovely wife Rosa Lee Sanders. Together they have established 25 rules of engagement as guidance to interact and create the joy and happiness deserving of a strong spousal relationships.

Solomon concludes in this book that you can create your own rules of engagement with your spouse or business partner. He believes rules of engagement can help to eliminate misunderstanding between couples or minimize unwritten rules that most men like himself are not familiar with until they break the rules set by their wives or partners. It helps to avoid spouses taking each other for granted after being together for a long time. He says taking each other for granted can be minimized if couples set some rules and guidance on how to treat each other with kindness, respect, trust, set some boundaries and maintain true love for each other. In addition, readers can gain some valuable tools on how to create own rules of engagement for couples, partners and businesses.


“I would like to thank Dr. Solomon Uwadiale for applying his expertise on organizational leadership to sharing with others ways to improve personal relationships in such a read. Excellent job” Laura James

“I applaud Dr. Solomon Uwadiale who boldly say ….I may not be perfect but I am wise for I have learned from my past” Anita Page

“Thank you Solomon for sharing the rules of engagement with me and I have to confess, I was prepared to challenge the contents. In the end, I realized that I couldn’t argue any of the points as they are truly the basis for a happy and honest relationship” Linda Clintsman

Excerpts from the Book:


Well, this is how my story begins:

The day I got married to my first wife was one of the happiest moments in my life. For once I knew I would be able to realize my dream of having a family like my parents. I got married in 1980 to my first wife whom I loved dearly and out of that we produced three lovely daughters. Life was good and everything seemed to be going very well for us.

My ex-wife and I were married Catholic. Her father was a Knight in the Catholic Church which made it very difficult and painful to file for divorce when things were not going well for us. We endured the challenges of not being happy and tried all we could to salvage the marriage because of our three beautiful daughters. At the end we decided to go our separate ways after almost 20 years of marriage. This was painful and devastating to our daughters.

Getting divorced was never part of the plan when we got married in 1980. I never imagined in my wildest dream that one day I would carry the label “divorced” and all the meanings that people place on it. Subsequently, I never anticipated the sadness and anguish I would experience from friends each time I‘d to explain why I was not with my wife in social functions. But after the initial shock and disappointment, I came to the realization that life is a continual journey and the changing of my life was no exception. In fact, this was just part of the journey.

Now, the second chapter of my journey:

After almost 11 years being single and several dates behind me, I met a wonderful and caring person; Rosa whom I adore very much. Rosa and I got married after one year of serious dating on February 14, 2011—Valentine’s Day. (Well, smart man of course to have both valentine and our anniversary on the same date. The men can understand where I am going with this…one present for two….smile). Anyway, this is part of the fun as a new man.

When I look back I can honestly say I was responsible for at least 60% – 70% of the failure of my previous marriage due to lack of open expression of my true feelings. What I realized is that I needed to learn more on how to be a better person to include active listening, patience, humility, empathy, sensitivity, self-awareness and tuning in more to my feelings and self expression. Now I am a changed man. I have since called my ex-wife after our divorce to apologize to her for all the pain and anguish I might have caused her. In fact, she was very surprised when I called her to apologize. This is an evidence of growth on my part.

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